Monday, December 16, 2013

The journey since my call

Oh my goodness! I have been a terrible blogger! There have been so many wondrous life experiences that I have not shared. First of all I got my mission call. The way that I opened this important manifestation on top of a mountain. Some of the greatest revelation received has been given on a mount. For the mountain is the closest you can be to heaven. In reading first Nephi 11:1-6 I had the prompting that I should go to the top of a mount and open my call. I wanted to know what my father had seen for me. So on I went to receive that divine revelation from my father that the call was of him, and that the call is where I indeed need to go. Salt Lake City Utah Temple Square Mission! Oh what a glorious call as Temple Square! I knew at that moment that the Lord truly needed me there. I literally ran down the whole mountain to tell everyone the news. Interestingly at this time in my home ward there was a Temple square sister missionary serving the out bound portion of her mission. Each Temple Square sister serves a certain period out bound. This means that they will serve in another mission as well. Right when this sister went back to Temple Square another Temple Square sister had come to our ward! How ironic! But I know this was no coincidence. I loved to talk to Sister Humble about the divine call. She told me that she has received the impression that Temple Square missionaries have a special understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Not that they understand it completely,but they have experienced things in their lives to give them a great and powerful testimony of the power it brings. I was pondering about what she said. Am I going to be as wise as these other sisters? Has the gift of the Atonement saved me in a significant way? As I was pondering these questions I thought of the obvious ways that I am saved through the great sacrifice, and gift of the Atonement. As I make mistakes each day, as I need forgiveness of my imperfect life. And as I learn through the trials, and become a better disciple of the Lord by leaning on the Atonement to help me stay on the straight and narrow. Everyone is saved by the Atonement in a significant way for their salvation if they use that gift to cleanse their spirit. I was thinking of specific examples in my life that I have truly needed this powerful remedy to the soul. I came across three times in my life where it has taught me great lessons, and healed me to the core of my existence. Like all of us, I am not a perfect person. I sin every day and make mistakes which need forgiveness. I am not exempt to the forgiveness portion of the Atonement. However, I have followed the prophets counsel, and have not needed to go through a very serious repentance process that needed to be resolved with priesthood authority. But a sin is a sin is a sin. The repentance process must take place in our lives to learn from every mistake we make. "Wherefore I know that thou art Redeemed, because of the righteousness of thy Redeemer; for thou hast beheld that in the fulness of time he cometh to bring salvation unto men." (2 Nephi 2:3) If there was no opposition we would not learn. "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility. Wherefore, it must needs have been created for a thing of naught; wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation. Wherefore, this thing must needs destroy the wisdom of God and his eternal purposes, and also the power, and the mercy, and the justice of God. Wherefore, it must needs have been created for a thing of naught; wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation. Wherefore, this thing must needs destroy the wisdom of God and his eternal purposes, and also the power, and the mercy, and the justice of God." (2 Nephi 2:11-12) For when we act in the justice of our God mercy will be granted unto us, his children. We make mistakes to learn and become better. We cannot become perfect without suffering mistakes, and good and bad consequences. The Atonement helps us in the "learning" and healing process. Although I use the power of the Atonement daily, one time that has reflected significance to who I am is totaling my car... I had picked up my little sisters from mutual and decided to take a rout home that I never had driven before myself. It was a gravel road and I was speeding. I was not speeding to rebel, I was not speeding to be naughty, I was not intending on wrecking the vehicle. However I was defiantly not following the law of the land, and I was indeed jeopardizing our safety by risking the chances of getting a bad consequence through that bad choice. As I was prompted to slow down, I took my foot off the gas, and began to feel shaky, the car began to fish tail. What did I do? I panicked! I put my foot on the brake not thinking of the consequences of this action and we swerved into a ditched and rolled three times into a potato field. I cannot describe the guilt that I felt through this moment of stupidity. I had put my sisters lives, and my life on the line for no reason at all. Just foolishness. I cannot take back the memory, I cannot take back the fright, I cannot take back the horror of this dreadful night. I could not believe that that had happened. I just kept asking myself why were you so stupid? Why did you do that? Really?! Now... What was I doing wrong in that time of grief and sorrow, in that time of regret and guilt? I was trying to take it back, I was wishing it away. When in-fact I could never do such a thing, but he could heal my heart, and could make it better. I was truly sorry for this awful sin. I was truly aware that this moment of stupidity was all my own, and others suffered because of it. My heart was heavy. It wasn't until I had faith that my prayers were being heard, until I had faith that he knew the sorrow in my heart, and that he loved me no less because of this transgression. The Atonement not only cleansed me from my sin at this time, but healed my heart. I knew that everything was ok. Another time I have been lifted by the remarkable power is when my great hero passed away. My Gramma Jorren was a beautiful soul. I loved her more than words could describe. Heavenly Father knew I needed her in my life to survive some awful hardships and struggles. I thought that my life would become a black whole of depression in my sweet Angel ever left me. I made her promise to stick around at least until I had children that she could hold, love, and council. The Father had another plan. To my surprise my gratitude out weighed my sorrow, my faith gave me strength. I acted upon my faith as I leaned upon the atonement of my savior to heal my heart. The atonement will heal every pain in this life if we have faith in the remarkable power it holds. The third way I have learned a huge lesson of the Atonement in my life that I thought to share, is not mine to share, they were moments where I watched others very dear to my heart go through this pain, this suffering, and beautiful renewing power. I was bettered by the Atonement by watching, and encouraging these gems to be polished by the blood of the Savior. What was red as crimson, shall be white as the pure driven snow. What is so beautiful about this gift is through it, is as if there was no sin in the Lords eyes. So obviously I do not have a perfect understanding of this wonderful Atonement, however I have a solid testimony of it. I use it everyday. There are plenty of stories I could tell of my falls, and the lifts I received from the hands of my redeemer. And I know that throughout my mission I will grow stronger through this power, and I will continue to understand it more, and more as I study of the sacrifice and ponder in the power. This is a great talk to learn more of this saving power. There are other reasons that I know that this mission is for me. I find more every day! I LOVE culture! I am in the perfect place for that. My mission is full of international Sister Missionaries. I will learn so much! Also, an interesting detail Sister Humble shared with me, is that I am probably one of the only younger Sisters on this mission being 19. Also another grand blessing that I have been given is being Endowed. (D&C 124:39) I feel ever closer to my Father in heaven, I understand his love for me more deeply. I will continue to return to the Sacred house of the Lord very often, and draw closer unto Him. I was set apart as a Missionary of the Lord on the 12th of december. I was given special authority to formally serve as an ambassador of the Lord. I know this Gospel is true, I have the desire to share it with all. I am thankful for this opportunity I have to serve. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ Amen.

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